Trinityblogg's Blog











{June 14, 2010}   No PANTIES!

There’s something about not wearing underwear under my clothes that is some what…liberating…I feel…vulnerable but at the same time I feel free and sexy!
I can say that the increased release of pheromones has had any effect on the opposite sex in my immediate environment but I just love it!
So I’m too busty to go out with out any brassiere on but I can afford to not were panties! 😉
Life is too damn short not to be silly right…Don’t take life too seriously

Been doing this for two weeks now. Save on my laundry detergent and energy to wash too!
Loving this!

–D ;))



{June 11, 2010}   Thank God its Friday?

why do people even have that?
Like really?
I can’t remember my last weekend. Needless to say It was the same as any other weekend.lol
Weekends are the time where I sit in my car for hours afraid to go up to my house!
So its another Friday, Its past 6pm and I don’t want to home…
I wish I could go out and go drinking and get high, but besides the useless calories which will move me away from my 75kg goal, it feels like such a waste of money when I could get eyeshadow or something tangible with that.
I miss the time when money didn’t matter. now every cent matters and I have to invest it wisely because to begin with, it isn’t mine and it isn’t enough.
My life has reduced to a boring nothingness and I’m forced to wonder was it always like this and I didn’t notice? Or have I just degenerated beyond recognition.

I’m sure of my name and where I’ll spend tonight. Outside that, I’m not sure of anything. I think I’m slowly suicidal. the whole emptiness thing may eat me out.
Please remind me – who am I again?

–D

P:S Even her gets to have great sex and I don’t. There has to be something wrong with me. This cant be the right me?!Should i get a cat?

Enjoy your weekend and we just might have another session if i don’t succeed in killing myself.
lol



{June 4, 2010}   26th

It’s the the 4th of June and I’ll be 26 in about a month.
I remember my last birthday quite clearly, mostly because it was uneventful as usual and from the look of things, history will repeat itself.
On my 25th birthday, I woke up in bed with my mom. Let me clarify, in the past i hoped that id wake up in bed on my 25th birthday to a smile that wasn’t full of pride and admiration of my mother. The only upside was my avatar woke me up by midnight singing. Let’s face it, it was harsh to the ear but the gesture made its point and it was literarily the peak of the day.
What I have achieved since that day, i really can’t say. My spiritual life is more or less the same. Not bad but the same. My academic performance is more or less the same. I know alot more about business and money making than I did then. I love my mom a whole lot more, my brother and my sister are all I live for.
My personal life…should I say even say “my” since i really don’t have one? It’s Friday night again and like all other Friday nights I am alone. I have made out with two more men bringing the total number of frogs to…(let me count)…6? 5? I think its six…I have learnt that all men cheat, ALL. I have gotten and given orals so much it’s like a lunch snack…no meaning…no value. I have broken in so many tiny pieces, it is hard to feel anything. And when I think i feel something, its just more crash sounds…
But I have learnt that in my weakness, pain and difficulty, I am strong and a survivor
In my many disappointments, in myself and in them, i have learnt patience and persistence.
I have learnt that even when there is that void, I am not empty and I will not drown.

It may sound alittle weird, but I have found a way to split me quite literarily. It happens when I have to face this life and deal with it. A side of me locks down the other and zombie mode goes on auto for weeks and she takes care of us.

He will wake me up on the 5th of July, 2010. I hope i wake up in bed with someone who isn’t my mom or some guy pretending I matter…I just don’t want to wake up alone that morning…



{June 1, 2010}   What Stupid Relationship?

What’s a relationship without constant communication. Lately, I’ve been feeling like we don’t have any. Isn’t this the stage where the two of us are supposed to be all mushy gooey and not letting each other rest? But he’s always busy and when he’s not busy he’s tired, and I’m tired of making every meeting seem like an effort. Can’t we just decide to meet for lunch or have an impromptu date? Instead everything has to be planned and it’s taking a lot more effort than I’m prepared to give.

So instead of putting in more effort and getting more understanding, I’ve found myself wondering if he even thinks of me when we don’t see and when he doesn’t call. It’s easy to see he like me well enough when we’re hanging out (and not doing anything naughty in fact) but we’re not giving that time and opportunity for the ‘like’ to turn into anything more.

Most times now, I just say ‘fuck it and fuck boys’ cause I don’t need to be thinking of any stupid arse f*^cker and getting stupid insecurities. Besides, we’re in the same town and it’s like this, how do we cope when I travel?!?! So, fuck it (and see what happens next) or hang on and put in more effort (and see what happens next). Which now?

xoxo
B/S



What the hell does being in a relationship even mean? I just got into one with a guy I’ve known for a long while. Somehow, we managed to stay in touch after many periods of forgetting each other. Now that we’re dating I’m at a loss. What am I supposed to be doing? Are we supposed to act differently? Am I supposed to buy him presents? Am I supposed to expect presents from him? Am I supposed to cook for him (oh God)? How often should we make out (hehe)? What am I supposed to be doing as a girlfriend?!?!??!

When I asked him, he said ‘just be yourself’. True, this answer is cool and made me feel good truth be told, but I’m still at a loss. I could be myself and still do other stuff right? What are those other stuff that I should be doing? Do I sound as confused as I am? So, any advice? Anyone?

P.S. He didn’t get me anything for my birthday. Does that mean I shouldn’t get him something either??

xoxo
B/S



et cetera